Many of us are living at hyper-speed, constantly on the go, making plans, achieving, driving from place to place, and eating on the fly. I live this way more often than not. The working mom who calls her sister from the vehicle because it’s the only spare 20-minutes she has in a week. The grad student reading a chapter from her textbook while the Zamboni floods the ice between periods. The wife who can’t help but fall asleep at 9:00pm because the mental load of the day is far too heavy to stay awake any longer.
This is a brief snapshot of the last five years of my life, and it finally caught up to me at the beginning of 2024. Two chest infections back-to-back, bronchitis, sinus infections, and sheer exhaustion caused me to crash and stay in bed for weeks. I barely worked. I didn’t cook. My sister and niece visited from New Zealand and had a great time hanging out with my husband while I watched reruns of New Girl in my bedroom. I cried heavy tears over my noodle bowls when the second chest infection hit, feeling like I would never feel healthy again. My mind stayed foggy. My heart felt heavy. I was totally disconnected from myself. Those two months were terrible, but they allowed me to contemplate the very important need to slow down. I questioned it repeatedly. How can I slow down when there is so much to do? Who will do it if I don’t?
Do these questions sound familiar? Living in a constant state of stress can create new points for our nervous systems, causing us to disconnect from our emotions, sensations, and feelings. Basically, being dysregulated becomes the norm, and feeling calm and connected feels unsafe to our minds, hearts, and bodies. This can cause us to normalize busy culture, ignore rest, and lean on potentially harmful coping mechanisms and behaviours. We might lose touch with what is important to us and become hyper-focused on the future versus embracing the present moment. This is exactly what happened to me. I stopped noticing what was happening around me and instead worried and planned all the next steps – to the point where I couldn’t settle and actually take care of myself or my family.
Slowing down isn’t easy; however, it is necessary if we want to experience the amazing lives we are creating for ourselves. When we have normalized the stress, the required rest becomes unimportant, a dream, or something to feel guilt or shame when we accomplish it. When we slow down, we can gather wisdom from our bodies, the sensations within, and notice something we might have missed otherwise.
I’ve learned (and will continue to learn) that slowing down for me means avoiding the need to multitask and instead focus on one aspect of my life at a time. To simplify suppers and prepare meals. To schedule quiet days and stick to them. To prioritize time with my family and reduce technology. To say no when my capacity is feeling strained. To move my body and breathe fresh air daily. To ask for help.
